Jingle Bells for the 21st Century (an "Urban Assault" Carol

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Abstract Christmas Bells. Since I’m posting my own version of “Jingle Bells” it seemed quite appropriate. As for the “carol” itself--I unabashedly stole the first two lines from a comedy bit from the Rick Dees in the Morning show (when he was still on KIISFM). The way it was preformed suggested the rest of the song to me.

CHORUS
Jingle bells, jingle bells! Let’s go all the way!
It’s so nice to know for sure that Santa isn’t gay. (Yay!)
Jingle bells, jingle bells! Let’s go all the way!
It’s so nice to know for sure that Santa isn’t gay.
-
I went off to the Mall--to buy a gift or three.
I smiled at Santa Clause. He waved and winked at me.
He said: “we should hook up--and maybe have a drink.”
I thought it sounded good to me. “I’ll be back in a blink!”
-
REPEAT CHORUS
-
We ended up in back of a really cute Boutique.
Then Santa grabbed my butt and tried to kiss my cheek.
I said “don’t touch me there!” but Santa wouldn’t stop.
And so I filed a big law suit--and now I own his shop!
-
REPEAT CHORUS

The Imigrants Oh Christmas Tree (an "Urban Assault" Carol)

Like so many bits of my doggerel this one got started when I was fooling around (On this particular occasion I was singing "O Christmas Tree" in a thick Mexican accent.) Words started tumbling out and before I knew it I had three stanzas of yet another "urban assault" carol Trying singing it aloud (in the accent of your choice) and you find it works quite well. The fractal that goes with this post is called Christmas Tree (what else?)

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Please tell me when Christmas will be.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Please tell me when Christmas will be.
Is it here now--or coming soon?
Is it in April, May or June?
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Please tell me when Christmas will be.

-
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
There’s something that’s been bugging me.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
There’s something that’s been bugging me.
I’ve seen your stuff up in the store
For seven months--no eight or more!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
There’s something that’s been bugging me.

-
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Can someone please explain to me?
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Can someone please explain to me?
The parties and the gifs are nice--
What’s this about the birth of Christ?
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!
Can someone please explain to me?

Movin'On

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Moving On. Today’s poem is entitled Movin’ On which I wrote way back in 1975 as a college class assignment. I used to write a lot of stuff like this back in the day so I thought I’d share some of that work.

Autumn leaves
Blowing down cold, dawn-lit streets
Rustling like an old woman’s skirts.
Carrying away my shattered hopes
Going nowhere, as I am
Movin’ on.
-
School children
Playing on fresh-cut morning lawns
Singing like sun-crazed birds,
Preying on my innocent dreams.
Never caring, as I once was
Movin’ on.
-
City traffic
Crawling among day-dark downtown canyons
Growling like an angry beast,
Rolling over my unwanted hate.
Going nowhere, as I am
Movin’ on.
-
Wilderness flowers
Weaving through their daily, dreamlike ballet
Waltzing in breeze-driven arabesques
Mocking my wasted life.
Never caring, as I once was
Movin’ on.
-
Cumulus clouds
Coursing over the sunset diorama
Fleeing like a frightened street mob
Magnifying my unlimited fears.
Going nowhere, as I am
Movin’ on.
-
Glittering stars
Spinning on their night-dark carousel
Droning like rainbow-hued bes
Releasing my final thoughts
Never caring, as I once was
Movin’ on.

I'm Still Here

Today's post begins with a fractal called Serenity Infinity. It seemed an appropriate choice for a poem about reincarnation. Now--some info about what you'll be reading ...

-

I'm Still Here was written by Stephen Sondheim for his Broadway show Follies. The song tells the story of a woman who's been through a lot of changes in her life yet somehow is still up and kicking. This got me thinking about someone who has lived life after live--and thus I wrote this. Hope you enjoy it.

* * * * *

Good lives and bad lives. I’ve had ‘em all, now I’m here!
Happy and sad lives, short lives and long ones my dear, mow I’m here.
Had a coronary while playing cards
Crushed by a boulder–that was hard.
Been a Detective for Scotland Yard–now I’m here.
I spent a life making beer–now I’m here!

-
I’ve been a wombat. I’ve been a Kodiak bear--now I’m here.
I died in combat, next life I lost all my hair--now I’m here.
I was a Monarch Butterfly.
Been Mahatma Gandhi-–what a guy!
I was a nudist-–don’t ask me why my dear.
I’ve been exceedingly queer–now I’m here!

-
I’ve gotten through Crromwell and various witch hunts
Gee, that was fun and a half!
I made it through bubos but died of a flu bug.
What can you do but just laugh?

-
Died playing baseball, lived through the Siege of Berlin–-now I’m here.
On the Titanic, died when the water rushed in-–now I’m here.
I was a bath slave in ancient Rome.
I was a trapper up in Nome.
I was a spinster who never left home-–now I’m here.
I milked a lot of reindeer. Now I’m here!

-
I’ve lived with riches. I’ve been a mother of four–-now I’m here.
Sell-swords and witches–one life I begged door to door-–now I’m here.
I ruled a Kingdom in the East then I was trampled by a beast.
I choked to death at a feast. Now I’m here.
I’ve been the best to the least—now I’m here!

But I'm still heeeeere!

Chri$tma$ At Costco

Today's post begins with a fractal called Tis The Season. If you haven't already figured out the reason I chose the image then you probably won't get it from my explanation. ANYway--on with the explanation for writing this poem.

-

I really like Costco: we buy the bulk of our food at Costco and that's where we buy our gas and get our prescriptions filled. I also love Christmas--the presents, the decorations, everything about it! But it bothers me that Costco starts putting out their Christmas stuff WAY too early! Thus I wrote this little ditty for your listening and dancing pleasure.

-

It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Let the bells ring out with joy!
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
For every little girl and boy!
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
All the crap is on the shelves
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
So you’d best prepare yourselves.
-
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Lots of things for homes and yards
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Buy a thousand Chri$tmas$ Cards!
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
A fully-decorated tree
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Giant Stars in packs of three!
-
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
You must not sit on the fence
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Purchase lights and ornaments
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Buy your gifts from here and yon
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Come December its all gone
-
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Everything you want or need
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Buy it now, yes, yes, indeed!
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Get a gift for gal or dude
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Be it tchotchkes, clothes or food
-
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Sound the horn and beat the drum
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Yes that happy time has come.
It’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
And it couldn’t get much worse
Yes it’s Chri$tma$ at Costco
Since it’s just September First!

A "Politically Correc"t Nursery Rhyme

Today's fractal, Peachy, isn't relative at all to the image. I just picked it because I hadn't used anything of this color before. As for the poem--I remember reading like "in the politically-correct world of today's Nursery Rhymes relevant content is more important than that the poem rhyme or scan." At that point I just had to write one. The poem and image are dedicated to my two newest grand-nieces Madison and MacKenzie Manley who were born to their parents "Mance" and Mennifer" on July 14.

Little Ms. Muffet, a Mayor

Relaxed in a comfortable chair

After a refreshing jog.

A Spider of a different social strata

Approached her with an ethnic matter.

And she engaged it in meaningful dialog.

More "Free Association Bullsh##"--this time with Robyn's Help!

Today’s post begins with a fractal image called Zimple Zpiral. It has no relevance whatsoever to the poem below. (I just picked it because I thought it was pretty and it has a mostly-black background.)
-
As for the poem itself, Robyn and I wrote it together way back in 1979: It was our first collaborative poem. We think it was supposed to be part of something larger but can’t remember what. In the end, I suppose this is just more “free-association bullsh#t that rhymes and scans. That, and I’m way to enamored of Lewis Carroll’s poetry.

ONCE UPON A NIGHTMARE

It was once upon a Nightmare
In the Land of Broken Dreams.
With a King who rules All Emptiness
Where’s nothing’s as it seems.
-
The King dwelt in his palace
Of Fantasy and Light.
He chained the Sun so it would stay
And hide him from The Night.
-
For he feared the Truth of Darkness
In a world he sought to bind
Lest some Dragon of the Real World
Blast the Gardens of his Mind.
-
A Gift they brought unto him.
A Maiden Wise and Fair
A gift of love--or so they said
For the Kingdom dying there.
-
He loved the maid and Wed her
And gave his pow’r away.
Then she Betrayed her Husband-King
And held him in her sway.
-
She broke his Will. She broke his Mind
And killed The Land with Magic.
The King fought back but could not win
Which made his Fall more tragic.
-
She drove him to the Brink of Doom
And set the Sun to fleeing.
The Truth laid bare, she showed him there
In the Darkness for his seeing.
-
She buried all his wondrous dreams
So he could not see or feel them.
And laid a Curse on the tiny box
So he dared not try to Steal them.
-
When she was done the King was gone.
(He would not Live his Fate.)
And she did not see his Final Jest
Until it was too late.
-
For with his dreams the King had fled.
Into the Box she Sealed
And left him with a Wounded Soul
That never would be healed.
-
So now there’s just the Nightmare
In the Land of Broken Dreams
And a Queen who rules the Emptiness
But her grief is what it seems.